It’s Days Like These…
April 10, 2014
Tuesday Grace Letter:4
April 8, 2014
Kara, the writer behind the Mundane Faithfulness blog, has invited other bloggers to participate in a practice of grace- writing letters every week, each letter with its own focus. I do not know Kara. We live in the same city and some of my friends and family know her, but I have only followed her story in bits and pieces as others have posted her blog posts to their Facebook pages. Kara’s story is heart-rending and powerful and in the midst of her own suffering, she gives people a glimpse of Christ in her, the hope of glory. Today’s assignment is to write a letter of grace to a hard season of life.
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Dear Dark Night of the Soul,
I used to call you something different. Several things, actually. One term I used early on was “Season of/from Hell.” Then after a person who suffered in the Bible, I called you my “Job Time.” And there were other more colorful words I used to describe you for awhile. But I have settled in the last year or two upon your real name: Dark Night of the Soul. (Thank you, St. John of the Cross, for gifting us with such a wonderful book.)
I can’t say that you were my friend… are my friend. I have such strangely mixed feelings about you, Dark Night. I can’t imagine my life without you now, and yet I would never wish you on my worst enemy. I am thankful for your presence, yet I despise you too. I’ve learned instead to live in the tension of that… and appreciate the tension that it is.
Finding a New Way
April 3, 2014
It’s earlier than I planned to wake up, and Daddy has the kid in the kitchen eating breakfast. So I do what every red-blooded person in the developed world does. I roll over, click on my smart phone, and tune into my Facebook page, examining what the night owls and early risers were up to while people slept. I scroll through breakfast orders and plans for the morning, theological blog posts and funny stories, and lots of updates about coffee and children who didn’t sleep. And then I see it. And I sigh, click out of Facebook and get up to turn on the shower. But it doesn’t leave me. That post I read sticks to me and won’t wash off, won’t clear out, won’t let go. It sticks. And the heaviness sets in.
A heaviness that wonders when we as Jesus-followers started getting it wrong. When did we stop loving others and start being voices of unreasonable criticism? When did we decide that we had to flit from one outrage to the next? When did we decide it was proper- no, righteous- to be so incredibly snarky, picking on the things and people and events that surround us?
I wonder if maybe I am just getting old. Maybe with some years and mileage, I’m noticing these things- these heartbreaking attitudes and actions by people who are on the same journey I am. Is this heaviness just the effects of me aging and getting more aware and more cynical?
Later in the day, I realize that it’s not just aging. Because yet again, someone posts snark and sarcasm and outrage about something… about anything…
And I find myself wondering again, “Why?” Wondering what happened that made us such an angry, fussy, uptight, ugly bunch of grumps lately. Oh, I know, I know… not everyone. A few bad apples spoil the bunch or some such saying. But if it’s only a few, why are there so many of us sitting back and letting it happen, letting it continue? What is the “rage of the week” this week for Christians? It’s almost a fad of sorts. Or maybe more accurately, perhaps it’s almost an addiction of sorts… an addiction to anger.
Tuesday Grace Letter:3
April 1, 2014
Kara, the writer behind the Mundane Faithfulness blog, has invited other bloggers to participate in a practice of grace- writing letters every week, each letter with its own focus. I do not know Kara. We live in the same city and some of my friends and family know her, but I have only followed her story in bits and pieces as others have posted her blog posts to their Facebook pages. Kara’s story is heart-rending and powerful and in the midst of her own suffering, she gives people a glimpse of Christ in her, the hope of glory. Today’s assignment is to write a letter to my Present, to Today… to Now.
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Dear Now,
It is strange to think about growing up. I have such vivid memories of childhood, both good and bad. Among many things, I find it hard to believe that when I was a child smartphones didn’t exist. And that we weren’t constantly connected to the rest of the world at a click of a link. And then I realize that I sound so old to say that. Which makes me laugh.
It is strange to think about growing up. I have memories of young adulthood, searching for myself, searching for my calling, searching for God’s will. Sometimes it feels like that season was just yesterday, and then I do the math and realize how long it has been since I was a young adult in that place of my life.
It is also strange to think about growing up during the recent several years. How vastly different my life is- not simply in practicalities and everydayness, but on the inside, where the white hot of the soul means a heart that has had to learn hard things. In the way in which I walk through and encounter the world. No longer held back by anxiety and fear, yet more aware than ever of the things that go “bump” in the night. No longer seeking the approval of others, yet keenly in tuned with the soul languages other people speak (or don’t speak). No longer interested in superior intelligence, yet willing to be all of who I am learning to be and become. The way in which I’ve come to know Jesus… our friendship always new and deep and longing and helpless all tangled up and combined into a dependency that is propped up only by Divine Hands. A dependency I continue to have to learn with each morning’s gift and each day’s trials. Read the rest of this entry »
ordinary sacred 