Two Days: A Poem

February 19, 2014

** This is one of my poems, which ranks near the top of the list of favorites. It was written during the weeks and hours and days and months, or maybe just between the deep sighs and held breaths, of those 18 months of confused darkness. The scripture has always been a source of comfort and consternation to me… and I would have it no other way. So in the confusion of that season, several narratives of Scripture lived with me- or rather lived in spite of me- causing all sorts of questions and arguments with God. The narrative of John 11 was one that lived with me for some of that time. I planned to write a book on it until I drowned too much in the questions it raises. So I have to settle for this poem.**
Two days.
And it might as well have been a lifetime
For a life was lost in the meantime.
Lazarus lay dead as his power-surged friend laid low. Read the rest of this entry »

Puppies and Disappointment

February 17, 2014

This post will start out seeming very superfluous. I hope it doesn’t end that way. Let’s find out…

This weekend, we had a puppy for a total of 18 hours. Read the rest of this entry »

I had an “oh, Jesus” sort of day today. That’s one of those days when something deep inside churns and the only words I find, the only prayer I hear from the depths of my soul is two words: “Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.”

It’s one of those days when I try to find other words to figure out what’s going on, but there are no other words except these two: Oh, Jesus… oh, Jesus.  Groans really. From somewhere so mysterious that even I can’t quite grasp it. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.

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Is This All There Is?

February 11, 2014

I sat at the round table having massive flashbacks to so many other meetings held around round tables, week after week after week, the same papers in front of me, the same running of a meeting, the same sorts of conversations. They weren’t unpleasant flashbacks; they were just… flashbacks. When pastoring, meetings are part of the game. It’s just how it is. We pastors shrug and accept it- some of us may even love it- and we sit around tables, looking at agendas, participating in the back and forth of what has been referred to as “the business of the church.”

Except that we are wrong on that label.

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The Influence of a Daddy

February 10, 2014

Richard face-timed us tonight from California. His smile was wide and the palm trees swayed gently in the background, but his eyes were only looking for the face of his child, young and round and unsure of the wonders of technology. This is the very first time in our entire marriage that Richard has travelled for the work week. It is usually my work that takes me away. So the roles are reversed and it’s weird and wonderful and weird all over again all in the same minute. I admire those parents who do the single parenting thing full time, or for months at a time while their loved one is out of the country.

I suppose it’s all part of growing up. Along with the way Richard’s hair is starting to grey on the sides and his smile lines show now even when he’s not smiling.  Read the rest of this entry »